What we all soon realize after our loss and looking at those around us in the same adversity, we all yearn for completeness. We yearn for purpose. We want to ensure the life we loved has meaning in this world. You are part of a bigger purpose and a bigger community. There are thousands of families entering the same grief process, and you now all have a common thread. It is a way to pass all diversity, across all age spans and cultural barriers, and a way to sink deep into relationship.
Here at Release the Doves we can connect through our stories. We can learn from each other. We all have been touched by the One who has authority to speak creation into existence. We can learn by each other to help write Him into our story and not edit Him into small portions. We can lean on each other to trust the end of the story is good. We can listen to our friends. They have stories. Sometimes we must share our story. Sharing our story will thread ourselves into theirs, ultimately weaving all of us closer to the ultimate story of God in heaven who loves us. A beautiful tapestry of heartaches and grief. In the end, it will make a space for a relationship deeper than you ever imagined.
We know that a good-bye is the most difficult when the story wasn’t finished. And we know that our story was written long before us. If we reflect, we might see the blessings amidst the blunder…no matter how small.
This is your story. Eventually, when someone asks you about how many children you have, how many kids you have, you will have a choice to make. It is your story, and you chose which parts you edit. God is the ultimate author; you only get to edit the narrative you tell.
So, sit down, let the pen just flow, pour from your heart to the paper. You prepared such a beautiful home in your heart for your child. Let your abounding love, sadness and memories flow. Reflect on the stories around you. Find joy in your child’s continued presence. Happiness can be found even in the darkest of moments if we just search for the light. Reflect. Reflections can give space for change of your narrative. Find joy in your story- you only have one life to live. And if shame, guilt, hopelessness and blame are writing a story with a different narrative than what you want to consider what you need to lay down to write a different narrative. This is a big storm. It is one of the biggest tragedies that anyone will go through in a life time. But the bigger the storm, the brighter the rainbow can be. And God makes promises in His rainbows.
In the end, remember, that your journey will become someone else’s survival guide. We are here to support one another. We can find many forums on the web that send us down the avenues of guilt, doubt, fear, and uncertainty. Let us write stories that encourage each other and see the meaning and purpose that our children had in our lives. There is gold in every piece of your story. It’s a short love story so let us write it well.
Even if you are early in your story, life will slowly encroach back in the margins of grief. Can you start to see any splendor? If you are struggling with a positive lining to find amidst the heartache, realize that we all want to teach our children, but they end of teaching us about life more abundantly than we can imagine. What has this heartache taught you?
And when we read each other’s stories. Be gentle with one another. You don’t know what chapter you walked in on and what was written in their story before. We all have different experiences in our journey and that impacts the outcome of our stories. A chemical miscarriage can feel just as significant as a stillbirth if there was years of waiting and hoping, conception trials. No life is insignificant. And when you have traveled through this arduous grief journey, remember you can only start a new chapter if you stop rereading the last. It is your choice you can choose how the story is narrated.
Thank you for reading my story. I encourage you to share your story with us and the Release the Doves Book community. Click this link and submit your story.