Journaling your Journey Through Stillbirth, Miscarriage, and Pregnancy Loss
Grief Is Universal. Love is a universal language. Therefore, grief and the loss of our loved ones is universal. No matter our background, our religious beliefs, our socioeconomic status, whether our first or fifth child, we all cry the same for the loss of our little babies we did not get to hold for long enough. Whether you are experiencing the loss of a miscarriage, the loss of a stillbirth, or the loss of a child, we are all on the same journey. It is the loss of the hopes, the loss of the dreams of what would have been. We all had the same hope for our child, the same hopes of becoming a family, the same dreams of the future to come.
But, YOU have one unique story.
Your heart yearns to find peace and solace in the journey of grief sorrow and struggle. So, let us dive deep because reflection gives space for change. You can do more than just get through grief, you can journey through it. It is not easy, but each step will place you at a much different place than were you are starting from. You can write their story. Their little precious life was full of meaning. Full of purpose. And reflecting on your outward experience to your inner transformation can be a part of that story.
The Benefits of Journaling Grief During Pregnancy Loss
Research shows that picking up a pen and paper and just writing your thoughts, feelings, emotions and expressing your internal processing has many benefits including the following:
1) reduces stress
2) helps you cope with the anxiety, trauma and heartache
3) reduces anxiety and depression after emotional upheavals
4) has long lasting benefits on your overall well-being
5) helps you make sense of all that you have just experienced
• Release the Doves Book will help guide you to find the meaning and purpose of your child’s life, no matter how short.
How To Get Started Journaling and Expressive Writing After Pregnancy Loss
1) Find a journal that resonates with you. Pick out a color, texture, type of journal that reminds you of your precious baby. Find a pen that brings meaning and flows easily with your writing.
2) Choose a time and place. Be consistent. Maybe it is a morning cup of coffee. Maybe it is before anyone else gets up in the house or after everyone goes to bed. You may choose a place that you can take in nature and a few other senses. Keep your journal in the same place.
3) Just write. No rules. Remember it is only for you. Write the feelings you are feeling in the moment without judgement. Affirm that anything you are feeling is worth putting on paper. Even if you can’t understand it, it may have value later. Any thought that comes, just put it into ink.
4) Re-read your entries. Often, going back and re-reading what you have written will start to piece together how you are feeling and what you are processing.
5) Combine songs, poems, books, sacred texts if you have a religious belief, and other resources. Reading other books on stillbirth, miscarriage, pregnancy loss can help you relate to compelling stories. It may help you see similarities and process your own feelings. Reading or listening to small bits and then pausing to self reflect on their meaning in your life can be powerful.
6) Write love letters to your child. Vivid memories of your experiences, their birth, what they looked like. You can also write vivid expression of your love for them.
How Else Can I Journal Through Grief?
If free writing for twenty minutes a day doesn’t feel right for you, or you want a story to relate to, Release the Doves book guides you with 100’s of open-ended questions to give you the opportunity to have starting points from which to journal. Release the Doves will help you:
1) Guide your writing of your one unique story of your child’s meaning and life
2) Feel and label both the negative and the positive feelings
3) Guide you to see how their presence is presently blessing you
4) Tie your experience to other areas of your life such as relationships and gives you opportunity for self-reflections, which is associated with better transformation after the heartache and loss
5) Experience guidance to see the larger picture and lean on your faith (if applicable for you)
6) Be given permission to be freed of the societal healing timeframes
7) Guide you to search for a deeper understanding of your trials and look past the answers of how and why it happened
8) Address sensitive and delicate issues revolving around stillbirth and miscarriage including adoption, burial services, when to try again.